Embracing Challenges

Learning is an essential survival skill, as it helps us thrive in new or changing situations. Yet this can be uncomfortable and challenging. Sometimes the stakes are high. Knowing how the brain works can give us the inside track to learning and develop resilience.

*Amygdala. Test anxiety can diminish our test taking abilities. The amygdala is a small almond shaped part of brain that controls your fight, flight or freeze (actually there are three lesser known responses: faint, feed, & fornicate, but that is a topic for another day). When we are in distress the blood flows from our executive functioning to the arms, legs and heart to enable us to flee the danger.  Literally when we are in flight, fight or freeze we are less able to use our executive functions. Keeping this part of our brain calm and at ease is important. I tell my students there is no losing, only winning or learning. This fosters a growth mindset.

*Growth Mindset. A Growth Mindset welcomes challenges because of the belief we are learning and that abilities are actively growing. The belief we will become capable facilitates feeling unintimidated and optimistic. It ensures we do not feel judged by a new experience because our strengths are just starting points and need to be nourished. A Fixed Mindset views challenges as an evaluation of our worth. We are defined by our current ability, because it is all we will ever have. Comfort is preferable to risking failure. It is better to look smart than be deflated and discouraged. When facing a failure, a growth mindset says, “not yet”, while a fixed mindset says, “never going to know this”.

*Zone of Proximal Development. In the zone of proximal development, the learner is close to developing the new skill or knowledge, but they need assistance and encouragement. The zone of proximal development is the gap between what a student can do independently (2+2) and what they can potentially do with the help of a “more knowledgeable other.” It encompasses challenge, struggle, mistakes being made, discomfort and gaining ground. There is such a thing as desirable difficulties that enhance our ability to perform later. Being able to sit in dissonance and be undeterred by a sense of difficulty. Maybe we should be suspicious if there is a sense of ease. 

*Perspective. Affirm that your value does not come from your performance on this one test. We all have strengths and weaknesses, and this is a family that appreciates and encourages.  Some better with technology, some better at relating to clients, some have experience with various market conditions. Taking the pressure off this one moment can call out the best in ourselves by calming the internal pressure we may put on ourselves.

*Embrace the challenge.  Hard is good.  When we tell ourselves something will be too hard we undercut our own success.  Erwin Rommel was nicknamed “Desert Fox” while leading Germany’s Afrika Corps in North Africa.  Where others were fearfully considering the obstacles, his speedy surprise attacks drew praise from the British as well as the German armies.  Be bold and enjoy the challenge instead of overwhelmed and paralyzed by it. The Stoic Epictetus said, “It isn’t the thing themselves that disturb people, but the judgements that they form about them.”

*You are both employer and employee of yourself. A study titled, “Self-Kindness When Facing Stress” found that being compassionate with yourself is correlated to wisdom.  Harshly judging yourself and others as good or bad, as successful or unsuccessful is black and white, narrow-minded thinking.  But wisdom breathes flexibility, acceptance, calmness, understanding, forgiveness, and learning that naturally becomes growth.  There is an ease that comes with grace toward yourself and others that is the fruit of self-compassion and a growth mindset.  

Jordan Peterson, in The 12 Rules for Life suggests that we are both our employee and employer at once.  Our employer side sets goals for us and the employee side of us tries to achieve them.  But what if you are a tyrant to yourself?  Tyrants use bait to incentivize for unrealistic expectations and then fail to see the value and worth of the workers; they do not fairly compensate for the work or keep their promises.  They disregard feelings, needs and take advantage of workers. Let’s ask ourselves if we are the real tyrant in this scenario.  Do we set unrealistic expectations for ourselves?  Do we disregard our feelings and needs?  Do we fail to see our own worth and compensate ourselves fairly for the work?  Reward yourself for good work.  Sit down with a special latte when you study. Reward yourself for working hard. Don’t be a bad boss to yourself. Always keep your promises to yourself.  “If we study for 45 minutes, we will get a snack”. Then get the snack along with the affirmation, “Thanks for your hard work. As promised we will get a  snack.”   Sounds silly, maybe, but sometimes we drive ourselves harder than anyone.

*Breathe.  Research by Dr Sian Bleilock shows worry hinders working memory and releases stress hormones.  Interventions that help stress response: BEFORE: meditate 10 minutes before exam increases exam scores by 5 points.  DURING: Deep breathing techniques: “4-7-8 technique”, “muscle tension on inhale and relax on exhale technique” “Belly breathing 4-1-5”.Rubbing the eyelids really helps people calm down, as it acts like a “visual reset.”  Try closing your eyes in a safe space and gently rubbing your eyelids while taking a breath for 30 seconds.  

*Proprioceptive activities.  Try these activities to stay calm and improve focus: Weight-bearing  (crawling, push ups), Resistance (push/pull), Heavy Lifting (carrying books), Repetitive Cardiovascular (running, jumping on trampoline), Oral (chewing, sucking applesauce or milkshake through a straw, blowing bubbles), and Deep pressure (hugs, weighted blanket, bean bags in pockets, massage, joint compressions).

Marcus Aurelius said, “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”  Take a deep breath as you set before yourself a new challenge and embrace it with new resilience. You can do it!

https://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/publications/self-kindness_when_facing_stress.pdf.

The mission of More to Grow Cognitive Development Training is to improve learning ability and function through cognitive exercises that meaningfully transfer to all educational and everyday life situations so individuals maximize their potential. 

Darlene Lewis, [email protected], https://moretogrow.com